Washu's Time Machine
by ClockWatcher
Summary: Washu creates a time machine, that brings San, Ashitaka, and Lady Eboshi, as well as three gundam pilots, into Tenchi's time. Now they must defeat Eboshi's arch enemy, Fujiko, and then have some fun!Please R&R, it took me forever to do this!
1. Where am I, who are you?

It was a fine day in Okayama, Japan but Washu Hakubi was witnessing none of it, she was too busy working on her newest experiment; a time machine! Unfortunately, she couldn't get the damned thing to work properly. It was spewing smoke, sparking, and her patience was wearing thin. All of a sudden, it made a large POP!  
"Ready! Aim!-What the Hell?" A tall woman with black hair stood in the center of the room, accompanied by a young man and a rugged girl dressed in wolf furs. They looked dazed. The young man knocked an arrow and aimed it at Washu.  
"Wha? This is not what was supposed to happened!" Washu sighed over another failure, then turned to her audience,"Okay who are you people?"  
"I am Lady Eboshi of Irontown!" the taller woman spat "Who are you?"  
"Well, doncha know?" Washu retorted "I'm just the Greatest Scientific Genius of the Universe!!!"  
The wolf girl, San, turned to the young man "Universe?"  
The young man, Ashitaka, shrugged, but lowered his arrow.  
"Well, uh, Greatest, uh...Scienti-i-ific?"Ashitaka started.  
"Washu! Call me Little Washu!"  
"Oookay...Little Washu, why are we here?  
"Well," Washu grinned "My little experiment went a little, very, uh, wrong..."  
Suddenly aware that Eboshi was aiming a primitive rifle at her forehead, Washu promptly raised her hand, sending it flying to a wall. as it smashed into the glowing machine, they heard another pop. This time, three young men hopped out.   
One, with a long brown braid giggled hysterically "Damn! And Barney was just about to reveal the amazing secret! Oh, maybe this was the secret? And where's my coffee?"  
Another boy, with godawful hair, looked around bewildered "Huh?..."  
The last, a Chinese teenager by the name of Wufei observed the gender of the surrounding people "Women! Of all people! Weaklings!"  
This remark was greeted by Lady Eboshi whipping out her sword and shoving it menacingly to his throat.  
"Ah! Okay! Hmmph." Wufei growled, backing away from the blade.  
"Can we go get some coffee?" Duo broke in casually.  
Washu giggled and motioned them all upstairs to the living room.  
  
"What's with the hair?" Eboshi inquired, peering at a teenage girl's spiky cyan hair.  
"For your information," the girl, Ryoko, replied hotly " Its the new...rage, nowadays."  
"Since when did Ryoko ever care about fashion?" a purple haired teen snickered.  
"Hey! Can it Grape Head!" Ryoko shouted at the princess, Ayeka.  
The two snarled at each other.  
"Hey! Cool it ladies!" Duo intervened, placing himself between them with his hands on his hips.  
Ryoko yanked his braid hard and floated up to the rafters sulkily. Ayeka flounced over to the couch and sat down in a huff.  
"Come here, Ryo-Ohki!" a blue haired, pink eyed girl cried, chasing a rabbitish looking creature into the room and sending it scurrying up the nearest person's leg, who happened to be San. Now, San was familiar with the resident tree spirits, kodama, in her forest but she didn't expect the animal to lick her nose, hop onto her head and chirp a cheery 'miya!'.  
"A cabbit," Washu immediately explained. "That one is Ryo-Ohki."  
San just raised her eyebrows slightly. Ashitaka smiled. Lady Eboshi was impatiently tapping her sword against her hip. The boys glanced at each other, Duo still smiling.  
Sensing the boredom and confusion, Washu piped up "Well! Maybe we should go somewhere? The movies?"  
"Yeah!" Sasami agreed " Can we go see Highlander! Its playing today, at two o'clock! I can close my eyes during the icky parts! Puh-lease?"  
"Yeah!" The rest of the Masaki household cheered. Except for San, Ashitaka and Eboshi of course.  
In a fury of activity, they prepared to go out to the theater after a dinner at the local pizza parlor. 


	2. Good Night

"Shhh!" Sasami hissed at Duo, who had quickly gotten bored of the primitive combat and burst into a Japanese rendition of Jingle Bells.  
"Oops, sorry." He whispered back, sheepishly.  
In the movie, Christopher Lambert was swordfighting another "highlander". Lady Eboshi, who had been anxiously fingering her blade, suddenly leapt up with her sword drawn and slashed the screen to shreds (Just as Lambert claimed "There can be only one."). Ashitaka scrambled from his seat and attempted to restrain her from inflicting further damage, while Ryoko tried to hold back the red-faced manager from exploding himself.  
Meanwhile, back in the lab, Washu's machine was working itself up. With another large pop, a woman stepped out of the smoke. She had a rifle slung over her shoulder and camouflage garb. Unlike everyone else who came from the smoke, she didn't seem stunned at all. Instead, she calmly turned on her heel and strode out of the room.  
She was greeted by two cabbits and a bounty hunter. The two cabbits, one brown Ryo-Ohki and the newcomer white Ken-Ohki bounced around her feet happily. Ignoring them and a stranger to their cheer, she stopped in front of the bounty hunter, Nagi, on the couch.  
"Where is Eboshi?" She demanded imperiously.  
"Ehh...who?" Nagi said coolly.  
"Eboshi" The woman insisted " I know that damn woman is here somewhere."  
"I haven't a clue who you are talking about," Nagi replied " I just got here myself. I'm looking for someone named Ryoko, who lives here. Most likely, wherever Ryoko is, you'll find your Eboshi."  
The blond dubbed Fujiko went and stood by the door to wait. The sky outside was bright orange and purple, the sun would be gone soon.  
She didn't have long to wait, for soon enough everyone burst through the front door, laughing.  
Nagi remained on the couch, her hands quietly folded on her lap. Eboshi, however, found herself face to face with her worst enemy, Fujiko. Fast as lightning, they engaged in a battle that would have sent Connor MacLeod running for his bunny slippers. Ryoko stood nervously twiddling her thumbs, anticipating a double battle and remembering previous narrow escapes with Nagi. Egged on by Duo and Wufei's rowdy cheers of " FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!", she charged up her sword and raised her shield.  
"Good evening, Ryoko," Nagi said, as though they were meeting for a cup of tea. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and they were soon mixed with the other two women in their brawl.  
Tenchi, too much of a wuss to interfere, hid in the corner. He was all too familiar with the power the female species could demonstrate when they were angry, and all four of these women were strong, hot-tempered and powerful. His eyes glazed over as he watched the destruction the other observers seemed to be enjoying.  
All of a sudden, everything came to a halt. Nagi drew the steaming whip into it's handle, and Fujiko and Eboshi's interlocked blades came to a screeching halt.  
Although the fight was at a stand still, Duo continued chanting "fight!" until he realized everyone was looking at him.  
"Would you prefer Jingle Bells?" he asked, blushing a brilliant red.  
Fujiko coughed, and shoved Lady Eboshi roughly away. Drawing a ratty piece of paper from her pocket, she read it to herself and glared at everyone. Nagi shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the couch, joined there by Ken-Ohki. Tenchi sneezed. The most damage to his house was mostly broken pottery, smashed tables and chairs. Ryoko's energy sword had taken an electric gash out of the screen door, and the moonlight poured through the hole. Suddenly, Sasami cried out in joy. A few light snowflakes were making there way down from the star spattered sky. Slowly, nervously, everyone made their way outside. Ryoko flew around the roof, laughing. The three gundam pilots remained silent, Duo trying to restrain the caroling temptation. San and Ashitaka stood side by side catching snowflakes. Fujiko stood next to Nagi, talking under her breath. The tough bounty hunter didn't seem to appreciate the company. Tenchi watched everyone happily, smiling at their touchiness, until he got to Eboshi, who was standing off to the side, holding herself higher than the clouds. Tenchi wondered if she'd ever stopped to appreciate snow before. It didn't seem likely.Suddenly, he noticed something he hadn't before! The woman had no arm! He almost cried out loud, the Lady's right arm was missing, her black overcoat hiding the absence from detection. Tenchi wondered how she'd lost it. She didn't seem to mind the loss, and her fighting skills didn't seem the least bit impaired. Tenchi rubbed his right shoulder grimly. Geez.  
The snow was perfect for snowballs, and soon they were scooping all they could off the ground into ammunition. Fujiko stayed where she was but NAgi seemed very glad of an excust to leave her. Ryoko pelted Ayeka with small round balls pakced as hard as bullets. Sasami attacked Tenchi with Ryo-Ohki by her side, quickly supplying her with one snowball after the other. Wufei and Trowa looked on as Duo ran around making shallow snow-Duos, as he called them. Finally, they gave in and joined in the fun. Ashitaka and San stood, looking very confused, until something hit the back of Ashitaka's head with a loud THWACK. They turned around to see Lady Eboshi, rubbing her armless shoulder, the corners of her mouth lifted in a half smile despite the pain. Tumbling int he snow, they played like little children for hours, until the cold and darkness took hold of them, and they went inside for hot chocoa, and some sleep.  
  
Nagi laid her sword and thermal whip down next to her sleeping back, wary of Fujiko's cold eyes surveying her every move.  
"You know" Fujiko began " If we were to join up, we could take out ryoko and Eboshi both very easily."  
"Hmm" Nagi murmured. She had no wish to do any of the sort, especially with Fujiko. She had no quarrel with the Lady Eboshi, and didn't wish to. Deciding not to say anything, she settled down to sleep, one hand tucked neatly under the pillow, the other resting on her cabbit's furry head.  
  
"So let me get this straight, Nagi is asfter me because I am, or was, a space pirate, and that Fujiko person is after you because...?"  
"Because back where I come from I own an iron works, which is worth more than a million head of cattle, back there. If she wanted Irontown, which she does, she would have to go through my beloved people and me first, a difficult task. I was afraid she would overcome my village while I was stuck here. Now I wonder if I will make it back with my life. If, that is, your little Washu, can find a way to send us back."  
Ryoko stared at her " Wow. How did you lose your arm?"  
Lady Eboshi smiled grimly " Now that happened before Fujiko, and has more to do with my own foolishness and stubbornness than anything else."  
With that, she began the long story about how Ashitaka came to visit her, seeking a cure to the arm her iron bullet had cursed. It was a long, weary story. San was already asleep, and back in Tenchi's room, Ashitaka was telling the same story.  
"And I though I had it rough," Tenchi said. "You fought a battle harder than mine, and with your primitive weapons, it was a wonder you weren't killed!"  
"They aren't that primitive where I come from," Ashitaka said politely "And Eboshi fashioned hers to be light and easy to handle. SHe managed to make them that much mroe dangerous. If she could kill a god with one of those, she kill many other things. She's got better aim than Duo even!"  
Duo, who was supposed to be asleep, jumped up " What? Re you kidding me? I'd like to see her with one of my hand-helds! Wait... with her attitude... Nevermind!"  
They laughed, and dozed off to sleep.  
  
"ASHITAKA!" Sweat poured down her forehead as San sat up, gasping. She'd never had such an awful nightmare!   
"What is it San?" a voice called anxiously. Eboshi.  
"Uh, nothing. It was nothing, just a bad dream." San assured her angrily. Damn woman.  
Her eye caught the glint of a dagger. Eboshi must have drawn it when she heard her cry out. She saw the hand holding it slip it back, and waited for the woman's breathing to slow, a sign of her sleep, but it stayed normal and steady. The snow was beng whipped about by brutal winds, it reminded her of her brother's call. She missed her wolf siblings, she didn't have anyone to trust here, except for Ashitaka. And now Fujiko was here, and after Eboshi, making the whole ordeal worse. Cautiously, she fell back into sleep. 


	3. So Nagi doesn't like her either?

"MEOW! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!"  
CRASH! BANG!  
"What the Hell was that?" Wufei grumbled "Grrr, women. Do they even stop?"  
Duo hopped to his feet, giggling "Maybe now the real action will begin!"  
They whipped open the door and thudded over to join the crowd gathered in front of Nagi and Fujiko's bedroom. Only a few seconds after their arrival, the door shattered into several splinters, and the two women blasted through.  
Tenchi jumped up and down hysterically " No! My house! Ah! You DON'T have to blow up the entire freakin' house!!!"  
Fujiko loaded her rifle and aimed it at Nagi. She missed Nagi, but the iron bullet buried itself in the wall beside Duo.  
"Hey! Watch where you're aiming that thing!!!" Duo yelled.  
Wufei stood there, his eyes as big as dinner plates.  
"Women can really fight!" He exclaimed as Nagi and Fujiko continued the furious battle. Tenchi continued to bite his lip and fret about his house.  
Then Washu showed up. Oblivious to the danger of getting a few limbs severed, she walked calmly through the brawl. Summoning her holo-top, she cried out gleefully "Don't worry Tenchi! I'll have this all fixed in no time!"  
With these simple words, she promptly blew the house up.  
"Nice fix-it job, Washu-chan," Tenchi grumbled, lowering the shield he had grudgingly raised over Fujiko. Ayeka had cast hers over Sasami, Ashitaka and San. Ryoko had grabbed Eboshi and Nagi's hands and telaported them into a nearby tree.  
Once the shield was lowered, Fujiko seemed to blend into the surroundings, and threaded her way through the rubble, disappearing into the woods.  
The rest of the gang stood shivering in the snowy cold. Ashitaka and San huddled together. Ryoko generated a small electrical fire with her hands for everyone to huddle around, shivering, while they waited for Wahsu to rebuild the Masaki home.  
"What were you two fighitng over anyway?" Ryoko asked.  
"Oh," Nagi shrugged "It was no big deal. I just didn't agree with her. That seemed like a good enough reason for her to attack me, I suppose."  
"Fujiko is easy to anger," Eboshi agreed "That is why it is hard to win against her, she is so easily offended."  
Nagi nodded, and after a while Eboshi toppled over into the snow. Tenchi picked her up. Everyone seemed deep in thought. Even Duo had nothing to say.  
Tenchi thought about their predicament. Was Washu going to be able to send them back? Fujiko, the evil twit, was missing, he finally noticed. If she came back, could the one armed woman finally beat her. Tenchi had no doubt in Eboshi's courage, but for her physical strength, she was at a big disadvantage. This was more serious than Ryoko nad Ayeka's usual quarrels, and much more deadly. Finally, they went inside the "new" house.  
Ashitaka sat on the couch, sipping his hot chocolate. San snuggled upt o him on hs left, Eboshi sat at his right, staring at the fire in awe. He missed his home. Not the Irontown home he had now, the old home where he used to live. Before the evil boar god, Nago, had attacked his village he had been perfectly happy. Now, he had San, and Eboshi, and the villagers of Irontown to keep him company but he didn't have any family there. He had no clue where Eboshi orginally came from. There were plenty of rumors. He loved San and always visited her whenever he could. He sighed, tilted his head back, and fell asleep.  
One by one, they all fell asleep. And slowly, the freshly repaired door opened, and a familiar blond woman walked in. The flames in the fireplaces furiously reached out to her, but even fire couldn't stop her from slipping an intoxicated cloth over the Lady Eboshi's face. A few seconds later, the woman's sleep deepened into an eerie unconciousness. Fujiko smiled, and dragged her enemy off the couch, and out the door, into the freezing snowy cold. 


	4. Eboshi goes Bye-Bye

"Huh? What?" everyone mumbled groggily "Oh, good morning."  
San yawned and stretched. Suddenly, she paused. Where was Eboshi? She poked Ashitaka in the ribs. Once he got the point, he asked Washu, who didn't hvae a clue either. They stood up, and alerted everyone else. They couldn't find a trace, until Nagi noticed the snow outside the door had been earlier disturbed, then dusted over. Sasami was overjoyed at the chance of a mystery. Everyone pointed their fingers at (Ta-da! Who could guess?) Fujiko. Who else hated Eboshi so muich to kidnap her? Kind of a foolish thing, but could turn out to be more of a problem than they thought.  
Washu came up with a clever idea. She had been suspicious of Fujiko, and cleverly attatched a tracking device to her boot, which lead them to an old factory inside of the plant. Ryoko wanted to blow the whole thing up, but Washu reminded her they really did not want to blow up Eboshi as well.   
"I know!" Duo exclaimed "Lets send these to pipsqueaks in, ya know, as spies! Then if you, Ryoko, and Nagi, can keep in touch with them, we can just blow a small hole in and know exactly where to go!"  
Ryo-Ohki and Ken-Ohki perked up at being part of the excitement, and Nagi agreed also, after a little bit of convincing. The orders were doled out, Ryoko, Duo, Wufei and Trowa were to follow Ryo-Ohki to Fujiko and Eboshi, while the rest of rhe gang would take care of the drunken guards there were bound to be hanging around. The two cabbits miyaed at eachother before bounding out the door happily. An hour passed without them, while the others prepared to go in. Tenchi and the others dressed in simple black or navy blue clothing.   
"Alright!" Nagi and Ryoko cried at the same time "we've got her!"  
"Wait!" Sasami pouted " Why can't I come?"  
"Because" Duo told her "You're small."  
She kicked him in the shin, and left in a huff. The braided gundam pilot shrugged.  
  
"I'm sure they'll have figured out where I am by now," Fujiko complained " When is all the excitement going to begin?"  
She paced along the grated floor, occasionally nudging the unconcious Lady Eboshi with the toe of her boot. She was still dressed in army fatigues, with a dagger in her boot and a few pistols she'd just "happened" to come across, figuring by the time the cops figured her out she'd be back at Irontown, rich. Finally sitting down to wait, she began to load the weapons.  
  
Duo directed the groups, one inside the main door, the other inside the back exit. Ryoko's group carefully picked their way through the barbed wire fences and gates, quickly made it inside.  
"Oh, bother." Nagi said, annoyed. Her group had not been so lucky, and there were drunken men, who waved at them cheerfully but refused to let them in. She delivered a quick rap to one's head, which dropped him instantly. The other's followed suit, until all seven of the men were lying unconcious before them. Well that was sure simple, Tenchi observed, following Ayeka into the building. San huffed, as they made it in last, she had been expecting a little more of a challenge. Ashitaka was just glad no one had been hurt.  
  
  
"Okay Wufei, if this little brown furball is correct, then this evil army chic is right up these stairs!" Duo crowed gleefully.  
Trowa humphed "Alright, I'll go down first. Ryoko, follow me."  
The demon space pirate nodded, and they all made their way cautiously down the steps.  
"Hey! Its about time!" Fujiko berated them " When you save someone, atleast be punctual!"  
"Sorry Chicky," Duo grinned " A cutie like me is a little busy you know."  
"Excuses, excuses," the blond said airily, then looked angry " What'd you call me? Chicky? Grrr, well, get on with it!!"  
"Yes, ma'am!" he saluted, then motioned to the others.  
It wasn't much of a fight. Fujiko took a few shots at Trowa (shooting off his hair in the front) but missed due to Wufei slipping behind her and pinning her arms to her sides. She called them unmentionably names in several different languages. Finally, just as Tenchi and the others arrived, Ryoko managed to tie her up. Tenchi reluctantly picked her up, followed by Trowa, carrying Eboshi, who was still unconcious. Ryo-Ohki meowed, and brought them all back home. 


	5. End of Part One-Good Riddance Fujiko

"Ouch! Oh, back off!" Fujiko growled, frustrated.  
"Oh, will you please quit whining?" Duo complained shrilly.  
The blond blinked, the struggled against her bonds. San and Ashitaka sighed in relief, glad to see Fujiko finally put away. Tenchi seemed happy too. You couldn't really say with Nagi. she was a rock standing in the corner, but he suspected she was pleased as well. The pilots were proud of their handiwork, though. Eboshi had been awake only for a moment, eyes unfocused and blurry. She recognized Fujiko though, and let loose a vivid string of vocabulary. Then she lapsed back into unconciousness.  
Sasami was still sulking. When she saw Duo she gave him yet another swift kick, a little higher this time, the ran off giggling. Braid-boy squeaked and sat down pretty fast. Wufei laughed.  
"So what are we going to do with Oh Evil One?" Trowa asked.  
"We were just discussing that," Wufei answered.  
"Yes," Tenchi said "and we've come up with the perfect dolution."  
"We're gonna send her to another dimension!"  
Ryoko dropped to her knees, pleading "Let me do it! Come on! Please please Puh-leeeezzzee!!!"  
Tenchi hesitated. If Eboshi was actually aware of the happenings, she would have jumped at the oppurtunity faster than Ryo-Ohki jumps on a bushel of carrots.  
"Nope. Sorry Ryoko," Washu interrupted her daughter's tirade "we're gonna let Nagi do it, cuz...well, um..because she's going to, so stop whining.  
Ryoko sighed. Nagi smiled. Finally! She'd finally be able to say good-bye to Fujiko. Washu summoned a portal through her holo-top. Its gellatinish outside was bright yellow.  
"The banana dimension!" Washu exclaimed proudly "inside there is one banana tree, and on that trees grows a single banana. When she picks the banana a new one will grow. There is also a fresh stream growing nearby. A suitable setting, ne? No big deal for the smartest scientific genius in the universe!"  
They clapped. Now Fujiko actually looked scared. One push of the banana shaped button and she would be tossed in like a ragdoll. Oh, well!  
"So long," nagi said, and with those parting words, Fujiko was sent head over heels into the portal, to spend the rest of her days in the banana dimension!  
"Yay!''  
"Yee-haa!"  
"Yess!"  
"..."  
"Miya!"  
"No, Ryo-Ohki, there is not a carrot dimension. Not yet anyway."  
"Miya...."  
Everyone cheered and Duo punched the air, then twirled a laughing Ryoko around in the air. Tenchi looked on, a pissed expression on his face.  
"Alright!" Washu said with twinkling eyes "Now she's gone. First we celebrate, then once Eboshi wakes up, we'll have some real fun. Then you guys can go home!" Sasami giggled and traipsed into the kitchen to prepare an assorted amount of goodies. San and Ashitaka went outside to stargaze, and Ryoko dragged Duo upstairs to show him her manga collection. Tenchi looked after them with longing eyes. The pilots played a game of cards,making a rucous amount of noise, which roused Eboshi out of toxication. The unfocused lady of Irontown cursed at them, lifted herself up awkwardly, then preceded to chase Wufei around the house waving her dagger when he said "A woman could play better than you!"  
They all went to sleep happy that night, and anticipating Washu's promised thrill before they finally went home.  
  
----------------------  
There we go. Thats the end of part one. The next part is all about what they do for fun before they leave. I hope you guys liked it. I didn't really like the way the Text version came out, its a bit confusing for me. Anyways, check again and I'll try to have the next parts ready for you!   
~Clocky W. 


End file.
